Better Research Through Drinking

So, here I sit: a common American college kid, wasting the culmination of a weekend day filled with sports observation and drinking with my potentially talented friends. The day started at 11 AM upon waking up; a short case or two of High Life later and, suddenly, we realize that we are sitting on a gold mine.

My friends and I all share a private pastime. Of course, because this habit seems freakishly geeky, my friends and I have failed to mention its importance in our lives to each other. But, the beer has a way of causing the truth to spew and once alcohol surpassed humility, it became known that we each love to surf Wikipedia.

And, we also love to drink.

Alas, there certainly must be a way of indulging our inner geek while stimulating our outer frat-boy image. Thus, we have created (and, remind you, this is still in the early stages of development)…

….The Wikipedia Drinking Game.

This game has all the traits of a winner: constant stimulation for each player, competition, drinking… and, for god’s sake – the most important thing – WIKIPEDIA!!!

I’ll present here how the game works in a nutshell. Feel free to click the links to the right for additional details. The game isn’t intricate. In fact, I would suggest that if you are clicking the links on the right than you are either: A) DRINKING TOO LITTLE or B) NOT HAVING A VERY WIKILICIOUS DAY.

The Game (INTRO):

Play can begin with as little as two players. However, the regulation-style game that we officially advocate has no less than three (3) players. We will use a three player game in the following example. However, you may substitute additional players or teams as you see fit.

REQUIREMENTS:

• Players (in this case, three)

• Plenty of beer (preferably Miller High Life – in bottles because that is classy)

• The Internet

• A device to harness said internet (a computer works well)

• > or = to 1 Bottle of Liquor

GAMEPLAY:

So, the premise of the game is this: one player is attempting to go from one Wikipedia page to a totally different one via the clicking of five or fewer Wikipedia links. Of course, games similar to this have been suggested before. It has even been said that the “Jesus” Wikipedia page is within five degrees of all other Wikipedia pages. But, those other games lack an important element:

Mass amounts of drinking.

So here goes: One of the two players not conducting the searching indicates an initial subject. The other player not performing the Wikipedia searches chooses a topic of his/her liking that must be connected to the initial topic by the searcher.

Having re-read that, my lager-soaked brain is having trouble comprehending. So I will break it down for the sake of all:

The Wikipedia searcher is player “A.” The other players are “B” and “C.”

“B” chooses an initial Wikipedia page, and “C” chooses a final one. “A” must then navigate from the page chosen by “B” to the page chosen by “C” by clicking on links from one Wikipedia page to another.

But that game, by itself, sucks. Unless you are at work – in which case, we have developed an alternative but similar version to this game; only it contains much more physical violence. But, for now, let’s focus on this superior alcohol-related game.

Players “B” and “C” are in competition with each other. They will bet on how many links player “A” will require to get from starting page to destination. The ante will be made in alcohol. As player “A” navigates, player “B” and “C” can up their bets. For example, player “C” can bet player “B” a half bottle of beer that player “A” will reach the destination on the following click. If player “A” fails to do so, then player “C” is drinking. If player “A” is more fortunate, then vice versa. Wagers can also be cast on total links needed. For example, an “over” can be set at four. Player “B” could then, for example, take the “over” at the risk of one bottle of beer consumption. Should player “A” navigate successfully in less than four clicks, then “B” is forced to consume one bottle of beer. If player “A” requires more than four clicks, than player “C” is drinking.

Simple.

But we know what you are thinking…

Player “A” is prevented from throwing the game because he/she has a maximum number of links to click before he/she must drink a substantial amount of alcohol. Every link clicked incurs one “man-sized” gulp of beer. Player “A” is allowed one ‘reverse’ (he/she can click back on their web browser) during their attempted navigation. However, doing so requires player “A” to take a shot of hard liquor. Exceeding the maximum number of link-clickings allowed (we advocate five) results in the end of the turn and a full beer-bottle chugging.

Players rotate positions and just… well… generally drink a lot.

Now, here’s the deal: You may not currently see the entertainment value of this game. But, we trust that you enjoy drinking and you are bored; thus, you are here. And you probably crave competition. Owning your friends in beer-pong has gotten old and you need something new. So we propose that we get this game started. We played tonight and we found that a player could not navigate from “feces” to “Softsoap” in less than five link-clickings. But, of course, we were drunk.

Comment here if you can make the navigation in less than five link-clickings. If you do, we’ll post a new challenge. And we will drink a beer in your name.

Now for the disclaimers:

My associates just advised the following warnings:

• Do not play this game while driving.

• Substitute half-measurements for all alcohol amounts should you find yourself playing this game alone.

1. Also: Contact help… immediately.

• Do not STEAL this game. It was invented by three young men at the University of South Florida. One is undeclared, the other a Religious Studies major and the last, a Mass-Comm major: this is our last – and only – hope at financial success.

• And, yeah, if you live in the United States, you should probably wait until you are twenty-one (21) to participate in the Wikipedia Drinking Game. If you are in college, you should probably see if the research hours incurred constitute extra credit.*

• Wikipedia is copyrighted by WIKIPEDIA (http://www.wikipedia.com). Miller High Life, while stamped with our highest endorsements, is also copyrighted by Miller Brewing Company: (http://www.millerbrewing.com)

*Especially applicable if you are a student at the University of Central Florida.